Hello. Now, having been in marketing for more years than I care to tell you, I understand why marketers want to use all the tools available to them. But if you have no relationship with a prospect, is it really smart to make a bell ring inside his home and expect to sell him something? Let's get going.

Now, even some companies with a legitimate tie to me are starting to abuse the privilege.

For instance, last week, I got two different calls from my cell phone provider, Nextel. Both were callers for whom English was probably a fourth language and they immediately were trying to push new services on me. No "hi, how are you," no handshake, no kiss.

Well, I'm mad and I'm not going to take it anymore. Here are some ways to combat telespammers.

First, put your phone number in the Do Not Call registry. Or, instead of visiting the website, you can call 888-382-1222.

Now, for some more fun ways to get them at their own game. They are using a script, so you can too. And, if they answer no to some of these questions, you can sue them. Sweet!

Here's your script:

If it sounds like a foreign call ask, "Are you calling from America?" I love this one.

"Are you calling to sell me something?" They hate that one.

"Could you tell me your full name? And, give me your telephone number with the area code first."

"Could you give me the name of the organization for which you are calling?" What we're trying to get to here is if the call is actually from let's say Nextel, or if it is a telemarketing company working for Nextel.

"Does your company keep a list of numbers it's been asked not to call?"

"I want my number on that list. Can you handle that for me now?"

"Does your firm handle telemarketing for other organizations?" If yes, "Make sure your company doesn't call me for any other organization."

An organization called Junkbusters has a comprehensive list of other questions you can ask.

Finally, my old friend Bill Loeffler had the best telemarketing response I've ever seen.

One day, he received a cold call from a New York investment salesman. The guy went into his spiel without taking a breath. Bill laid the phone down and the guy wasted 20 minutes telling his story to no one.

I am not saying that you should discount customer input. However, asking customers what they want is a marketing question and requires experienced marketers to answer.

Marketers have the objectivity to look at the marketplace, see through the consumer's self-deception and discern the answer to a tough question that requires some serious analysis.

It is behavior that you need to be learning about from your consumers. Ask them questions that will get to the heart of how they use your products and services. This is where their experience is crucial.

Let's take an example to illustrate the difference between a "what do you want" and "what do you do" question. Krispy Kreme, the world's best donut-maker, did some customer research in the 1980s to learn more about the customer experience.

They didn't ask, "what do you want in a donut?" They asked questions like, "what do you like about Krispy Kreme?" and "when do you buy donuts?"

Answers to those questions helped them redesign the Krispy Kreme experience. They learned that people were happiest when the donuts were hot. Additionally, they heard loud and clear that consumers had no idea when the hot donuts were coming down the conveyor belt. Voila! The "Hot Now" sign was born.

Consumers said they often were in a hurry, heading to a morning meeting when they stopped for donuts. Customers did not like having to stand in line to wait for the sweet treats. From this, marketers decided to install drive-in windows.

If they had asked customers "what do you want in a donut," they may have produced some low carb abomination that would have crashed to the floor like a heavy Dunkin Donut. Friends, when you want a donut, the last thing you are thinking about is carbs.

So, ask the right questions of your consumer, then let the right people review the research and everyone benefits.